He visited me in my dreams last night. I couldn't see him, but I could feel him. He used to visit me in my dreams all the time, I could always see him but I could never pick him up... that's how I knew I was dreaming, he'd start crying, I'd try to pick him up and I never could. I'd quickly try to savor the moment before I woke up and he was gone again. Last night was different though, I can't remember what I was dreaming, but I know he was there. I could feel him all around and I kept trying to see him. I wanted desperately to see what he looked like. I wanted to be with him. I wanted to hold him. I wanted to know who he was now. The Kenny Chesney song, Who You'd Be Today kept playing and I just couldn't see him, no matter how hard I tried.
I woke up this morning with the song stuck in my head "sometimes I wonder, who you'd be today..." so I posted a link on my facebook page. I figure that's about the closest I can come to acknowledging that he visited me.
Like the song says...
It ain't fair you died too young
Like a story that had just begun
But death tore the pages all away.
God knows how I miss you
All the hell that I've been through
Just knowing, no one could take your place
Sometimes I wonder, who you'd be today...
I picture Landon as an angel in Heaven. As time passes, he grows in my mind. I don't think there is a right or a wrong way to picture our loved ones that have passed away. Today, I decided that a picture of an angel child would be appropriate. I wonder, who would Landon be today...
